Chats

treatscraft: “NO HIS NAME WAS SUPPOSED TO BE APEXIS PREDATOR”

wake up: exhausted
12 pm: exhausted
3 pm: fucking exhausted
5 pm: really fucking exhausted
7 pm: about to pass out
bed time: the energy of 5 million condensed suns

Gay marriage has just been legalized in their state. The vampires are at the courthouse to get their marriage license.
Vampire 1 *checking phone, sees “this couple waited 50 years to get married” story*: Honey, how come we don’t have an article on upworthy? We’ve been waiting for like two hundred years for this!
Vampire 2: Because we look like we’re 19 year olds who haven’t thought this through because, in case you forgot, we’re bloody vampires.
Vampire 1: But we’ve been waiting way longer. I want a news story.
Vampire 2: How does “Vampires reveal themselves to get heart warming human interest clickbait article coverage, are immediately staked” sound as a title?
Vampire 1: Point taken.

SU Fandom: Thank God we kept the Bronies out of our fandom. Can you imagine how toxic they would’ve made it?

SU Fandom: *bashes fanartists if they don’t draw characters to their specifications in every single piece of art they produce*

SU Fandom: *tries to prevent skinny cosplayers from cosplaying as Rose Quartz*

SU Fandom: *erases the worst aspects of Jasper’s personality in order to ship her with Peridot and Lapis, despite Malachite proving the latter highly abusive*

SU Fandom: *draws Lapis as buddies with Peridot and Jasper despite how obviously she hates them and wants to be away from them in canon*

SU Fandom: *bashes Say Uncle and tries to find anything and everything problematic with the episode and Uncle Grandpa itself, ignoring the fact that the episode was basically 100% self aware and calling the SU fandom out for their bs*

SU Fandom: *loves every fat character except Greg, who they accuse of being abad father to Steven until they see the younger, thinner, cuter version of him, who they immediately start adoring*

SU Fandom: *makes posts attempting to discourage men as a whole from getting into the show/relating to it, because it’s for ‘women and nb folks only’ while at the same time tried to erase the fact that Ruby and Sapphire were female-presenting nonbinary lesbians*

SU Fandom: *is slowly turning toxic and gross without help from any bronies*

SU Fandom: So glad we tag our porn under something kids can’t find! After all, this is still a kids’ show, and we need to set good examples for kids 🙂

ICY: either that lighting is terrible
ICY: or the head of his dick is glowing
Tevruden: No its glowing
ICY: oh my god
ICY: perfect
ICY: can this be canon
ICY: can their dicks be flashlights
Tevruden: The tip of Ro’s dick glows?
ICY: I mean he does have glowy runes on his dick
ICY: he’s gonna be an angler fish
ICY: but like
ICY: it’s his dick

Jaina Proudmore: I’m sorry. What? Thrall and me? Ugh, who keeps spreading that filthy rumor? Besides, everyone knows I prefer blue over green…
Jaina Proudmore: … not to mention the last two men who sought my attention both tried to take over the world. Yeah… I think I’d rather just study.
Arthas: No man can defeat me, although, 10-25 could do the trick.
Muradin Bronzebeard: Och, I was never dead, alright? I was just restin’ me eyes.
Muradin Bronzebeard: Oh no, Blizzard killed your favorite character. Don’t fret! Odds are, they’ll be returning in an expansion or two. Trust me, I know!
Kerrigan: Yeah, I’m still the Queen Bitch of the Universe.
Kerrigan: Are we really supposed to believe that I EVOLVED high heels?
Nova: You ever hear about the- [Man’s voice: This joke has been indefinitely postponed.]
Illidan Stormrage: I hate to admit it, but you were… kind of prepared.
Uther Lightbringer: Back in my day, there was only one type of paladin, and we were glad to have ’em!
Uther Lightbringer: And we could only level to 10! What are you? Level 100? More? Ugh, kids these days.
Tyrande Whisperwind: You know, when women ran things here in Kalimdor, we experienced an era of peace. Then the men woke up, and now we face a new war every other year!
Thrall: Huh? Oh, that’s right. We’re doing the “joke thing”. Sorry, it’s been a while.
Thrall: Ah, I miss real-time strategy.
Thrall: The isometric perspective, the epic, large-scale battles!
Thrall: Can’t say I miss all this poking, though.
Thrall: After a couple Heroes of the Storm expansions, Blizzard replaces me with Garrosh.
Thrall: Wait, what? What do you mean there’s lore in this game? You guys actually paid somebody to write a story about Raynor meeting Diablo? Isn’t this exactly what fan fiction is for? Ugh, I didn’t approve any of this.

someone: it starts at 4 so you should be here by 345
me: *arrives at 330 because I have to be early to being early*

Aquarius
Pisces
Sagittarius
Leo
Gemini

IDGAF: Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Aquarius
I give too many fucks: Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Capricorn, Pisces