Gay marriage has just been legalized in their state. The vampires are at the courthouse to get their marriage license.
Vampire 1 *checking phone, sees “this couple waited 50 years to get married” story*: Honey, how come we don’t have an article on upworthy? We’ve been waiting for like two hundred years for this!
Vampire 2: Because we look like we’re 19 year olds who haven’t thought this through because, in case you forgot, we’re bloody vampires.
Vampire 1: But we’ve been waiting way longer. I want a news story.
Vampire 2: How does “Vampires reveal themselves to get heart warming human interest clickbait article coverage, are immediately staked” sound as a title?
Vampire 1: Point taken.