I keep thinking about that straight girls in gay bars post and so here’s a list of things that straight people have done to me or around me in gay bars
- I ask a pretty girl if she wants to dance. She looks at me with disgust and says, “I’m not gay” in the snottiest valley girl voice I’ve ever heard.
- A short greasy dude will not leave me the fuck alone at the bar. I tell him multiple times “I am a lesbian.” He says, “me too” and in the same breath tells me I’ll like it if I try it. When the guy steps away to talk to his friend, three gay men surround me and buy me a drink and swear to keep him away from me for the rest of the night.
- 2am, drunk, cheering on my favorite local drag queen on stage. A contestant from Dr*g R*ce is in the audience, hanging out, supporting her friends. The straight girls next to me spot her and start shrieking at the top of their lungs and trying to get to her. Security escorts the contestant elsewhere so no one could get near her. Not a single straight person in the audience tips any of the performing queens.
- I’m by myself on the dance floor, feeling myself to Bey, as you do. A man comes up to me and starts dancing. After a minute, he starts grinding on me and tries to kiss me. I put my hand in his face and tell him I’m a lesbian. He says something very vulgar that I don’t completely remember because I was drunk af. I tell him to fuck off and I leave the dance floor completely. I end up on the patio with a beautiful butch girl and when I tell her what just happened, she offers to beat him up for me.
- A girl with a bachelorette party, telling me, with complete seriousness, that she was just discriminated against at the bar for being straight. What happened? The bartender didn’t pay attention to her immediately and she had to wait “forever” for her drink.
- Related: Almost every negative review of my favorite gay bar is by a straight person. At least half of them claim that the bartenders or bouncers discriminated against them.
And then this one isn’t bad, it just made me laugh when it happened
- Guy: hey can you ask the bartender for a drink for me? They usually pay more attention to girls
Me: oh baby not here they don’t lol
Guy: ??
Me: This is a gay bar, sweetheart
Guy: I… oh… *looks at the shirtless male bartenders, the go go boys, the rainbow flags, the drag queen behind me, the glitter everywhere* *walks away in a daze*Okay first of all, you’re heterophobic if you think straight people are the cause of all of the problems in a gay bar.
Second, just, fuck off.
“heterophobic”
Yep, heterophobic, like homophobic but against straight people.
I am not against straight people! I can’t be heterophobic and I have like bunches of straight friends. They are great, we get together and do straight people stuff like mini golf and yelling outside of abortion clinics.
I can’t be heterophobic when I have at least three straight friends and I don’t judge them! Like, as long as they aren’t being straight in front of me because no one needs to see that lol. But no, I love the straights!