Chats

How It’s Made: *literally anything*
me: 😮

friend: shut up about ur fuckin video game
me: no

me: misplaces one finger on the trackpad
windows 8: closes the browser, locks the computer, calculates the mass of the sun, sets my house on fire, types out the entire script of the bee movie in webdings

person: i headcanon this character as asexual
me: hey right on
person: they’re just so cute and innocent there’s just no way i could ever see them being interested in sex
me: hold up

Me: yea I love being an artist, art is definitely my passion, I don’t know what I would do if I weren’t able to draw anymore
Me, actually drawing: I hate this I hate my life I hate myself, just cast my shitty useless corpse into a black hole

Aries: Persimmon
Taurus: Apple
Gemini: Lemon
Cancer: Coconut
Leo: Orange
Virgo: Fig
Libra: Mulberry
Scorpio: Pomegranate
Sagittarius: Olive
Capricorn: Black Cherry
Aquarius: Lychee
Pisces: Avocado

Ship: one is really small while the other is really big
Me: sign me the FUCK up 👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌th 👌 ere👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my selｆ 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠＯOOＯOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀👀 👌👌Good shit

me: sorry I’m taken
*loud dragon roar in the distance*
me: oh, there’s my boyfriend 🙂

International tumblr users:
“Brace yourselves”
*boards up windows
American tumblr users: *quietly starts chanting in the distance “USA, USA, USA…”