What I say: I’m a computer science major.
What people hear: I can resolve any tech issue you have ever or will ever have on any machine that exists in this universe. I am jacked into the Matrix at all times. I am the IT god. Look upon me and despair.
What I mean: Sometimes I try to tell the computer to do something and I cry when it doesn’t work.
Me seeing a monster turning/changing into a human form in movies/books/etc: change back
me: well my straight friends from middle school all said I am asexual, and I don’t have a problem per se with the label, because it kind of does represent my feelings towards sexuality, I just don’t know what to do with myself right now. am I the only person like this? where are the other asexual people?
lgbt tumblr blogs: Asexuality is a thing, and part of the lgbt+ community!
me: fuckin sweet
ace discourse: Not So Fast! you’re not Gay Enough™ for us to include you in the ingroup of Historically Oppressed Gays And Trans People. since youre not Gay Enough™ by our standards, you’re one of The Straights™ so we’re excluding you and all asexuals who arent Gay Enough™ from our community, because youre Straight™
me: but I literally was just excluded from the privileged group The Straights™ by literal privileged Straight people. where do I go now?
bi people, from under the bus: hey
me, begging: please just get up and do the work its not that hard you’ll feel better when you do it
my brain, running away from me, smashing flowerpots with a broom: hey you know what my buddy u can go fuck yourself my guy
Non lgbt+ person: are you gay?
Me: no
Non lgbt+ person: so you’re straight?
Me: *laughs* hell no
Non lgbt+ person: oh… are you bisexual?
Me: not even close.
Non lgbt+ person: (frustrated) THEN WHAT ARE YOU
Me: A myth *fades into shadows*
me, the motherfucker with over 50 abandoned works in progress: i have another idea
friend: why are you in a rush?
me: i gotta get home
friend: why?
me: i’ve fulfilled my quota for socializing today
tumblr staff: what do the kids like nowadays? presidents? lizards? president lizards?
Being an artist and meeting other artists
Person: I’m an artist
Me: Oh cool! How much do you cry???
how to get better at art
1. start drawing
2. ok good now do that until you die
3. repeat steps 1 and 2 at your leisure