me, finally getting a chance to say something I’ve thought about for twelve days straight: oh, hey, that reminds me, funny thing, this just came to mind but
the “oh shit, it’s 4am” squad
Gemini, Cancer, Libra, Scorpio, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces
cool blog: [follows me]
me: ok but are u aware that i am a massive fucking disappointment
Young McCree, muttering: “Why does that guy [Reyes] have such a stick up his ass?”
Reyes, hearing that: “It’s a backup weapon, Recruit, one I’ll gladly beat you with if you don’t shut your hole.”
spiritwalker ebonhorn: hey
wrathion: what the fuck
sabellian: hey
wrathion: WHAT THE FUCK
overwatch fans: !!!! scrambling for ARG decodes!!! sombra!!!!! every scrap is vital!!!!!!
me, who’s been with this godforsaken company for over a decade, sprawled on the floor and picking my teeth: she’ll get here when she gets here
Sombra joins the fight
Tracer: I’ve got you now, Sombra!
Sombra: Do you? Well, I’ve got footage of you with a certain sniper when you were supposed to be on a mission. Didn’t Overwatch lose that mission…? I hope it wasn’t — oh look, it was marked ‘critical importance’.
Tracer: … *hammers rewind*
–Later–
D.Va: I’m taking Sombra down!
Sombra: Ah, Hana Song. Are you livestreaming right now? I wonder what your followers would think of their gaming queen, if they knew she didn’t actually know how to play Poké–
D.Va: Uh, uh, my mech’s malfunctioning. Stream’s going down guys, uhm, whoops. *flies off*
–Later–
Pharah: Target acquired.
Sombra: *sighs* Two words: mommy kink
Pharah: …target lost.
–Later–
Pharah, D.Va, Tracer, and others: Okay Sombra, this time you’re not getting away. We’ve got the perfect agent to take you down!
Lucio: I guess that’s my signal.
Sombra: Haha, please, let’s see…
Sombra: *checks pocket computer* uhh
Sombra: *starts pulling out folders* hold on, wait
Sombra: *starts emptying her pockets* no wait I got this
Sombra: *finds a small, crumpled note* Ah hah!
Sombra: Lucio, what about that time you, uh, were fifteen minutes late to your shift in the… soup kitchen… because you’d found a sick dog and had to carry it all the way to… are you serious? Are you serious right now, that’s it?
Sombra: You know what? Just take me in.