Anyone not married by age 25 gets a spouse assigned to them by the government. You are fine with that: most matches are a success and it’s less effort for you. But it’s your wedding day and you’ve just met your match. You cannot imagine how this was the person they chose for you…..!
… you’re walking down the aisle. It’s dark outside the chapel and your phone is dead. As you approach the altar, you see him- Shia LaBeouf.
WAIT! He isn’t wed, SHIA SURPRISE! There’s a ring in his hand and love in his eyes!
john mulaney talking about how much he loves his wife and roasting other male comedians that just talk shit on their wives is why The Gays like him so much because he’s what Straight Culture should be
he literally called her a bitch so let’s raise the standards ladies and gentlemen
the bar is at the earth’s core
literally fuck you to hell tumblr
This is the first I heard of this guy and I think this is the most dramatically I’ve seen anyone’s words taken out of context in quite a while
Congrats to Generation Z on their very first kill! May the blood on your lips taste sweeter than wine!
I’m so proud!
Also, lmao at companies and organizations that fail, due to changes in society needs (ex.milkmen) or they’ve made 0 effort to adapt, (Blockbuster comes to mind) and place the blame on consumers and specific generations of people who probably weren’t even old enough to make any impact whatsoever.
when it’s late summer in stormwind and it’s too hot to even think let alone meet with foreign dignitaries but you have to sit in on 6 days (probably 7 by the time it’s all said and done) of trade negotiations because lakeshire ran out of darnassian bleu
