Howdy folks! Sorry for the delay, I was, uhhhh covering the Tour de France. Anyway, I’m back in Chicago which means this blog has returned to the Chicago suburbs. I’m sure you’ve all seen Barbie at this point so this 2019 not-so-dream house will come as a pleasant (?) surprise.
Yeah. So this $2.4 million, 7 bed, 8.5+ bath house is over 15,000 square feet and let me be frank: that square footage is not allocated in any kind of efficient or rational manner. It’s just kind of there, like a suburban Ramada Inn banquet hall. You think that by reading this you are prepared for this, but no, you are not.
Scale (especially the human one) is unfathomable to the people who built this house. They must have some kind of rare spatial reasoning problem where they perceive themselves to be the size of at least a sedan, maybe a small aircraft. Also as you can see they only know of the existence of a single color.
Ok, but if you were eating a single bowl of cereal alone where would you sit? Personally I am a head of the table type person but I understand that others might be more discreet.
It is undeniable that they put the “great” in great room. You could race bicycles in here. Do roller derby. If you gave this space to three anarchists you would have a functioning bookshop and small press in about a week.
The island bit is so funny. It’s literally so far away it’s hard to get them in the same image. It is the most functionally useless space ever. You need to walk half a mile to get from the island to the sink or stove.
Of course, every McMansion has a room just for television (if not more than one room) and yet this house fails even to execute that in a way that matters. Honestly impressive.
The rug placement here is physical comedy. Like, they know they messed up.
Bling had a weird second incarnation in the 2010s HomeGoods scene. Few talk about this.
Honestly I think they should have scrapped all of this and built a bowling alley or maybe a hockey rink. Basketball court. A space this grand is wasted on sports of the table variety.
You would also think that seeing the rear exterior of this house would help to rationalize how it’s planned but:
Not really.
Anyways, thanks for coming along for another edition of McMansion Hell. I’ll be back to regular posting schedule now that the summer is over so keep your eyes peeled for more of the greatest houses to ever exist. Be sure to check the Patreon for today’s bonus posts.
“I am angry,” the werewolf said. “But unlike you, I don’t have the luxury of showing it without being called a monster. Without someone taking it as a sign of proof that I need to be put down like a rabid dog, that I’m just like what the stories tell you.”
“Tales & Tactics” portrait art! Part of my creative freedom that I got to tackle the character design with the dev team’s short prompts, both for the player and the opponents you face in the game’s tournament!
Freshly done art of The Bois TM since I’ve been doing nothing but owed art for a while. Also took this as a chance to do a style challenge. Inspo of course is Jessie and James, the best duo in pokemon history
A sketch of my dracthyr that I coloured up last weekend. I used prismacolour pencils, copic markers, pen and a little bit of acrylic paint to do the spot highlights and edges.
Couple of process shots below of building up the colours.
A sketch of my dracthyr that I coloured up last weekend. I used prismacolour pencils, copic markers, pen and a little bit of acrylic paint to do the spot highlights and edges.
Couple of process shots below of building up the colours.
It’s a whole separate story setting in the late 19th century. Dorian lives in the small village called Heatherfield. He is working as a cargo carrier and delivering goods to the village. Also, he is very sweet and kind guy! But works a little too much…
I came up with his centaur version for the themed ask-blog! And I’m making little comics to tell his story a little bit 🌿
