• fuckin watching everything with captions (and then people complaining about them)
  • getting everyone’s names mixed tf up and more so recognize people by facial features

  • refusing to even try to listen to two people talking at you at the same time
  • can barely follow verbal-only instructions
  • know big words but zone out if people use like five almost consecutively
  • get consistently more annoyed than necessary by repetitive beeps and clicks
  • willing to kill a man if they insist on making high-pitched scraping sounds
  • can’t stand the sound of an animal licking something (it sounds like sandpaper omfg) but you put up with it because you love them
  • trying to explain how you’re actually HoH not just an asshole asking people to repeat themselves five times for fun
  • would slap a person for chewing with there mouth open/chewing loudly
  • accidentally scraping your teeth together/against silverware and wanting to die

also me:

[hears the phone ring in the house from across the street] man my hearing is fucking great i’m like a bat!

If this ain’t me I don’t know what is.

Every! single! thing! on! this! list!