Me: Let’s order Chinese for dinner.
Husband: Awesome. Let’s do it.
*Like thirty minutes go by*
Me: Honey, are you going to call the restaurant?”
Husband: I thought you were going to.
Me: You…thought the deaf girl was going to call the restaurant?
Husband: I now see the flaw in that assumption.
A conversation that just happened
super extra naughty indecent dirty raunchfest meme aka, NSFW ASK MEME
❤ : Where on their body is your muse most sensitive?
✿ : Has your muse ever had sex before?
☜ : Does your muse like to top?
☞ : Does your muse like to bottom?
∀ : Your muse’s favorite position?
☺ : How often does your muse masturbate?
☂ : How long does it take your muse to hit climax, usually?
✌ : Is your muse good with their hands?
♡ : Does your muse have any birthmarks or scars they get embarrassed about others seeing?
Á : Is your muse loud in bed?
⚔ : Does your muse have any specific kinks?
☯ : If you’re comfortable with it, write a drabble about our muses doing something naughty. If not, put a strikethrough across this one in your reblog (or simply don’t do it; your blog, your rules ;3).
☌ : Would/does your muse have any special piercings anywhere? Would they get some?
♥ : Does your muse like to cuddle after sex? Anything else for aftercare?
If you ever sent me a message and I didn’t respond, there is a 99.99% chance this happened
Me: Hmmm, that’s an interesting question. I’ll try to find the kind of thoughtful response this deserves while I browse my dashboard.
Me: Haha, you’re too big to fit in that cup, kitty.
*A month passes and I become too embarrassed to respond late.*
Every artist
Artist: I wanna draw.
Artist: But I don’t want to draw.
naruto bad guy: there he is. kakashi. the copy ninja. the sharingan eye.
bad guy: (does a ninja thing)
kakashi: (copys the ninja thing exactly)
bad guy: oh My god. how did he do that. he copied me.
kakashi: (copys again)
bad guy: holy shit….. fuck how is he doing this, how is the kopy ninja kakashi of the sharingan eye copying my moves? holy christ. hoooly christ
How Well Do You Know Your OCs
send me a number 1-60 and i’ll answer the questions with one of my OCs
1: What’s your OCs favorite color?
2: Where does your OC work?
3: What’s your OCs favorite food?
4: Does your OC prefer paper or plastic?
5: How old is your OC?
6: Does your OC have any supernatural powers?
7: Is your OC in a relationship?
8: What are some of your OCs strengths?
9: What are some of your OCs weaknesses?
10: What is your OCs favorite outfit?
11: What is your OCs spirit animal?
12: Is your OC sexually active?
13: What is your OCs earliest memory?
14: Does your OC have a cell phone? If so, what kind?
15: What makes your OC angry?
16: When is your OCs favorite time of year?
17: How long can your OC hold their breath?
18: What kind of underwear does your OC wear?
19: Does your OC prefer plaid or polka dots?
20: What’s your OCs favorite kind of pizza?
21: Who is your OCs best friend?
22: Has your OC ever killed someone?
23: Whats your OCs biggest secret?
24: What does your OC smell like?
25: What time of year does your OC prefer?
26: Is your OC a human or an animal? (or something else idk)
27: What languages does your OC speak?
28: Does your OC like anime?
29: Can your OC swim?
30: What does your OC choose to do about the, er, hair down there?
31: Does your OC believe in fairies?
32: Did your OC go to college? What did they major in?
33: Are your OCs parents dead?
34: Is your OC religious?
35: How flexible is your OC?
36: What turns your OC on?
37: What was your OCs first word?
38: Does your OC have any pets?
39: Who is your OCs biggest enemy?
40: What is the craziest thing your OC has done?
41: What is your OCs motto about life?
42: Does your OC drink coffee or tea?
43: Who is your OCs biggest hero?
44: What color eyes does your OC have?
45: Does your OC like reading?
46: Is your OC loyal?
47: Does your OC tolerate violence?
48: What social class is your OC from?
49: What country was your OC born in?
50: Does your OC cry easily?
51: What is your OCs favorite genre of music?
52: How does your OC feel about insects?
53: What is your OCs sexual orientation?
54: Does your OC smoke?
55: What gender is your OC?
56: What kind of clothes does your OC wear?
57: Would you call your OC adventurous?
58: Is your OC introverted or extroverted?
59: What is the first thing that someone would notice about your OC?
60: Does your OC enjoy nature?