Aries: On a scale from one to stupid, I have exceeded the grading criteria.
Taurus: I just think. And the automobile responds. And it speaks German. And I don’t speak German.
Gemini: Okay, I’ll just go fuck myself.
Cancer: Covert titties.
Leo: How do I fight it?
Virgo: Well, I have yet to make the first step, but I sure as fuck am making some progress.
Libra: Edge of Glory can turn that shitty knife into a titty knife.
Scorpio: I don’t give a shit if he flosses his asscrack with the bark of these trees.
Sagittarius: Excuse me, sir, you’re interfering with my photography.
Capricorn: I would rather solve a Rubik’s Cube with my bare nipples than try to make that series of jumps.
Aquarius: Who is this? Is this Lieutenant Dastardly Dildo?
Pisces: I’m getting the heebie-jeebies.
The Signs as Cr1TiKaL Quotes
Tevruden: do you have proof?
ICY: you send me a lot of werwolves
Tevruden: I send you a lot of regular werewolves
Tevruden: wow you can’t just assume that all werewolves are gay
Tevruden: thats heterophobia
ICY: LOL
ICY: just try to stop me
Tevruden: look who’s thinking a lot about gay werewolves
Tevruden: its you
Filled with poison: Virgo,Capricorn,Scorpio,Cancer
Blessed with beauty: Libra,Gemini,Pisces,Taurus
Blessed with rage: Aries,Aquarius,Leo,Sagittarius
me: *is sick* aha i’ll just sleep it off
me: *is sad* aha i’ll just sleep it off
me: *is stressed* aha i’ll just sleep it off
me: *thinks about life in general* aha i’ll just sleep it off
me: *whines, stresses, and complains about writing a research paper for school*
me: *writes a 2500-word researched presentation on fictional magic for roleplay*
age 11: worry about internet people finding me in real life
now: worry about people in real life finding me on the internet