Chats

Someone: “What is the best in life?”
Me: “To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and have art made of your OC.”

me thinking about drawing: wow. art is so soothing and beautiful. it’s such an important creative outlet for me and i just want to draw all the time
me drawing: fuck art. fuck it right in the ass

How to rp with me

Step one: Look for a meme I reblogged.
Step two: Go to my ask.
Step three: Send it to me.
Or you can also do this:
Step one: Open the IM thing.
Step two: Yell HEY YOU ASSHOLE at me (but in a nice manner ofc)(Or not i dont care).
Step three: Plot.

Party Bus

starfleet: we’re glad you’re home
starfleet: we’ve been reviewing your records
janeway: k when is my promotion
starfleet: what makes you think you’re getting a promotion
janeway: my future self told me all about it when she broke the temporal prime directive and brought me stolen future technology
starfleet: yeah so in that vein there are some things we need to discuss
janeway: if there’s a problem with the paperwork blame chakotay
janeway: i don’t do forms i do holographic irish bartenders and former borg drones
starfleet:
doctor: i can assure you that while in the delta quadrant we conducted ourselves with grace and dignity according to the highest principles of starfleet
b’elanna: yeah step off our balls you weren’t there you don’t know
tom: yeah you weren’t there that time we stole a keg of omega molecules from some douchebag aliens who were going to blow up the quadrant
harry: or that time we played space nascar and ended up in the center of a terrorist plot
tom: or that time we were all super horny and built a fake irish city so that we could get drunk and laid
harry: or when we tied that guy to a chair and waited for the aliens to eat him because he wouldn’t tell us what we wanted to know
tom: oh shit remember that time i got 30 days for ignoring the wishes of some foreign government and destroying their mining operation
harry: that was almost as crazy as the time you restored that old shuttle but then it fell in love with you and tried to kill b’elanna
b’elanna: speaking of which remember when that bomb i made for the maquis came back and tried to kill us
chakotay: that reminds me of when seska stole my dna and tried to impregnate herself with my child
tom: nothing will ever compare to the time me and the captain had kids and left them on that planet
janeway: we were young and innocent then
tom: how many lizard years to a human year i feel like i should send a birthday card
janeway: like 6
tom: you don’t even know you’re just saying that
janeway: you should talk you’re such an absent father
tom: oh no you didn’t
janeway: i didn’t even want kids
starfleet:
starfleet: is there a reason you stenciled PARTY BUS on the side of voyager
tom:
harry:
b’elanna:
doctor:
janeway: is there a reason i shouldn’t have

Me: *stayed up til 7 am working on client shit* Fuck this shit I’m going back to sleep.
Me: *sits at computer*
Me: *doesn’t do work*
Me: *doesn’t go to sleep*
Me: *just sits and thinks about that time we pretty much bought Dip N’ Dots with Chris Metzen*

Someone: My grandfather just died, I’m so sad
Tumblr: CASUAL REMINDER THAT YOUR GRANDFATHER WAS PROBABLY A MISOGYNIST AND STOLE CANDY AS A CHILD AND BROKE THE SPEED LIMIT SO STOP MOURNING THAT SHITSTAIN