Before Steven was born Amethyst used to say ‘fuck’ all the time & so when he was a baby Greg had to sit her down and explain that she has to stop swearing around Steven because he’s young & impressionable
So Amethyst is like “but that’s my favourite word, when will be stop being young & impressionable so I can say it again??”
And Greg is like “uhh I don’t know, 15 I guess? 15 is probably old enough”
“Got it”
flash forward to Steven’s fifteenth birthday and he is woken at dawn by Amethyst yelling “wake the FUCK up Steven it’s FUCKING TIME”
& he spends the entire day losing his mind
Steven: w-what’s happening
Garnet: *deadpan* Amethyst just got her favourite word back
Amethyst: *running around the house* FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
Greg: what’s going on
Amethyst: you said once Steven was 15 I could say fuck again
Greg, who only hazily recalls the conversation in question: ……i DID?
Amethyst: *runs outside* FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK *distant sounds of spooked birds*
Pearl: Steven the *whispering* F-word is a bad word that Amethyst USED to say before-
Steven: I know what fuck means Pearl
Amethyst: *stopping dead in her tracks* WHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT??
Pearl: who taught you that word mister!!
Steven: um… Lars and Sadie… *mumbling* five years ago…
Amethyst: I’ve been denying myself my favourite word for FIVE YEARS for NOTHING??
Greg: uh even if he knows what it means it’s still not really appropriate for you t-
Hello everybody! How are you all doing! Need anything purged? Those stupid undead don’t ever learn haha! Do any of you know where the nearest town to raid ehh I mean the gift shop I need ehhh Jesus fridge magnets.
[Scene: a nervous-looking older man meets with a millennial in a darkened alley.]
Millennial: what’s the target?
Man: I don’t know if I want to do this.
Millennial: people don’t come to us until they’ve made up their minds.
Man: Alright. Styrofoam cups.
Millennial: Six months and they’re gone.
Man: Can millennials really kill styrofoam cups?
Millennial: we can kill anything, but not cheaply.
Man: I can pay. I work for a plasti-
Millennial: I don’t need to know and frankly I don’t care. One of us will deliver a routing number to a Zurich account. Two billion euros, then we start.
Man: Al..alright.
Millennial: It will be your last chance to reconsider. Once the money is processed you’ll have no contact with us again.
Man: I understand. It has to be done.
Millennial: Then it’s sealed. The cups will join chain restaurants and diamonds in the void.
Man: Thank..thank you.
Millennial: We don’t require thanks. Participation is its own trophy.
