Marcille: “Uhhh … I’m so hungry …”

Laios: “We should have waited until we were at the end of this maze to kill and eat the minotaur. Senshi, what do we have left?”

Senshi: “We’re good on water due to that aquifer leaking into the maze, but otherwise all we have left is my spices and this unopened bottle of benadryl.”

Laios: “Hmm …”

Marcille: “Laois, look at me. Benadryl isn’t food.”

Laios: “I know that, but what if we were to kill and eat the Hat Man?”

Chilchuck: “WHAT?”

Senshi: “What’s the Hat Man?”

Marcille: *sighs* “It’s a shared hallucination, generally induced by certain kinds of drug intake. Some mages have tried to study if it’s real but were unable to prove that it stayed tangible or present after they sobered up.”

Senshi: “So that benadryl would lure the Hat Man to us, and give us a chance to fight it? That will be tough. Sounds like we will have to kill, cook and eat it all before the medicine wears off if it will lose tangibility otherwise.”

Laois: “That’s it! If we need only one or two of us to kill the Hat Man, then the rest can be dosed up only right before the meal is done cooking.”

Senshi: “There’s one problem with that. Dwarves are basically immune to any tallmen drug that isn’t prescription strength. I’ll need half the bottle just to have enough time to eat the meal. Chilchuck, you’ll be able to use it the most efficiently because of how little you weigh. I can make sure that the fire is ready, but you’ll have to fight the Hat Man alone and dose Marcille afterwards to help you with the cooking prep. Laios and I shouldn’t risk taking more than needed just to eat.”

Chilchuck: “ARE YOU CRAZY?! YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW IF THE HAT MAN IS REAL! And I don’t do the fighting in this group! There’s NO WAY that-”

Narrator: And so with their plan formulated, Chilchuck took a heavy dose of benadryl and prepared to fight the Hat Man in single combat.