if elves lived in modern america they would be rednecks im sorry but it’s true. imagine you meet a tall guy who’s always in a baseball cap and driving around in his truck and learn that he’s a crack shot with a rifle, like insanely good. okay that’s pretty cool i guess. but it starts to get weird cuz he’s so good at identifying edible plants that he practically survives off of berries and wild game and his mom’s homemade bread which is the absolute best stuff you’ve ever tasted in your life. his truck, which he tells you he essentially built himself with the amount of repair and replacement work he put into it, is either insanely well-built or insanely lucky, and drives right on through snowdrifts and mud pits and potholes like they’re nothing. the first time he tries to take you on a hike he drags you uphill for two straight hours with a cheery smile on his face and seems genuinely surprised when you’re worn out at the top. sometimes when you’re out in the woods his head turns around at what you swear is literally nothing and he’s like “oh yeah there’s deer ‘round here you can hear ’em. loud as all get-out.” when he finally takes off his fluorescent orange snapback and shows you his pointy ears and tells you he’s immortal you’re just like oh that makes a lot of sense actually