ive always hated when a vampire story is trying to distance itself from traditional lore or common perception and the vampire turns up their nose and says “and no. I don’t turn into a bat” like they’re so offended that you’d even suggest that they could do something so cool. well congratulations you’re uncool and boring goodbye

“Can you turn into a bat?”

“God, no, I wish,” sighed the vampire. “That’d be fucking badass.”