elves rated from most to least fuckable which is the only metric that matters

1. nightborne – take one look at the broad stance of a nightborne woman and try to tell me that she wouldnt ram you into the pillows so hard that you cant remember your own name. that aside nightborne are like, definitely into some like…high-tier like upper class bdsm if you want candle wax on your titties by a well-dressed seductress fuck a nightborne. extra bonus that your chosen nightborne would probably be a sugar momma/daddy 100%. theyd dress you in fine silks and take you to parties. no downsides to fucking a nightborne

2. void elves – does this even need explained? theyve got tentacles for hair and they fear neither death nor pain; if youre down to get filthy void elves are guaranteed down to get absolutely nasty. probably service verses cuz you dont bathe in the unfathomable energy of the furthest realms without learning to let go of material things like thinking you can only top or only bottom. super into blindfolds to emulate the pulsating constant blackness of the void. probably not great for cuddling afterwards though i think theyre clammy.

3. blood elves – they have cool lore and theyre probably pretty kinky but in sort of an inexperienced way. if the nightborne are fancy japanese rope bondage then blood elves are fuzzy handcuffs from spencers. definitely have good eggs and bad eggs but blood elf dudes are bar none the best to dominate for emotional satisfaction cuz theres no better feeling than fucking a dude into his own fuzzy blankets in plain view of his avenged sevenfold posters.

4. high elves – theyre vanilla blood elves. missionary with the lights on. best you can hope for is a good kirin tor fuck where there could be some interesting magic involved but vereesa windrunner is the most boring windrunner sister for a really good reason. best case scenario you fuck a kirin tor high elf and khadgar’s disembodied head is on the nightstand watching, if you’re into that.

5. night elves – they’re unwashed hippies and the men spend most of their time fucking asleep are you kidding me? are night elves a good lay you come into my fucking house and you ask me if night elves are good at anything like night elves are furries theyre all furries even if theyre not druids. you expect nelf women to be super sexy lesbians bc the men are always asleep but theyve all got long ass fucking nails cuz theyre tryna get closer to being mistsabers dont get fingerblasted by a nelf or youll die of internal bleeding and theyll lecture you the whole time youre dying and blizzard will burn your house down