Him:  Ready to see my monster cock, baby?

You:  Oh god yes

Him:  *Pulls a 14-inch Pringles can pussy destroyer*

You:  What’s this?  No tentacles?  No writhing mass of teeth and pain?  Why would you get my hopes up like that?

#listen what’s the point in a monster if it has a human dick (via @pharaoh-doll)