me: hey I’m a reanimated corpse formerly in service of the lich king (I mean, I say ‘formerly’ but I have been getting these inconveniently-timed visions of him mocking my supposed freedom lately, so take that as you will). I’m pretty sure the only thing keeping me tethered to this accursed existence is my unbridled passion for murder and the frost spells I use to preserve my decaying mortal shell. my dick doesn’t work. 

some escort quest npc: