the best experience working in customer service that i ever had was when i worked at building 19 and they were going out of business. they got to a point where all sales were final and this rude asshole came in throwing a fit bc she couldn’t return some 25$ thing, and i was just in a state of total don’t-give-a-fuck and so was the store manager so i’m talking complete immunity to do and say whatever i wanted. so i told this lady i’d be more willing to help her if she’d drop the attitude and quit being so rude to me and she looked so -shocked-. then she started ranting about losing out on 25$ and i was like “i’m sorry you’re out 25 dollars but next week i’ll be out of a job, so i don’t actually care,” and the look on her face allowed me to ascend to a higher plane of existence. and that was my favorite day of work ever.

the dream.

So a few of you might remember that back in September, I was working at a grocery store that was being shut down. Now, the remarkable thing was the fact that, even at the point that our shelves were bare and empty, people were still coming up to us asking why we were out of stock. I mean, we literally had giant fucking signs in the windows that read: “going out of business” but I still had people asking me why we had so little product.

My best friend (now boyfriend) was our Associate Manager, and he put up with more total and utter bullshit from customers than anyone.

Now one afternoon I go into work and some lady has bought out pretty much all the rest of the product that we’ve got in the store. I’m having a pretty rough day (I had a lot of stuff going on: secret love affair with my boss, my best friend might be moving to another city to find a job, losing my job, no money for university, you get the gist) and I put her transaction through, and at the end I realize that I’ve forgotten to ask her for her points card.

She realizes this, too. And she starts bitching that she wants me to void off the purchase she’s just made, scan everything through again, so she can get her measly fucking 1000 points (1000 points = 1 dollar)

So I’m like, ‘Ma’am you’re gonna have to wait for me to get a supervisor up here to authorize a voided transaction’

And she starts fuckin losing it on me, pissed that she’s gonna have to wait five minutes for my supervisor to finish a call she’s on and to walk from the back of the store to the checkout.

Now, while she’s having this little hissy fit, my best bud and our intrepid manager happens to be sauntering on by, and approaches the counter with a, ‘Can I help you?’

So she starts going off at him, now, about how I’ve wasted so much of her time. And he’s standing there and he’s nodding and he’s listening to her, and then when she finishes her rant he says, ‘I’d like you to know that I could authorize this transaction for you, but you’re such a deeply unpleasant woman, that I’m going to make you wait’

And then he just walked away