I had a very David Lynch-inspired dream… I was offered a cup of coffee by A Mysterious Entity that I remember nothing about, and was pleasantly surprised by the flavor.

“Funny,” I said. “I don’t usually drink my coffee black, but this isn’t bad.”

The Entity began to laugh. “That’s not coffee you’re drinking,” it said, darkly.

I paused with the mug to my lips as horror slowly dawned on me. Then something inside my head shrugged, said ‘fuck it’, and tipped the mug back. I did not blink or break eye contact with The Entity as I slowly chugged whatever nightmarish substance it had given me.

There was an awkward silence, and The Entity cleared its throat uncomfortably.

#when the eldritch fucks with you you fuck with it right back

That’s the thing about the immortal, eldrich, and mystical… They can only fuck with you so much before you’re either broken or unfun, and even if they don’t screw you up, you’re not going back to your normal life after seeing a bit beyond your normal.