But like, what if instead of that, we start off with the 5000 people in suspended animation and one wakes up 90 years before the rest like in the original premise. And they guy does enjoy the ship for awhile before the whole “I’m going to die alone in a metal box in space” thing comes up. And he’s alone and the robo bartender is can only provide so much company, regardless of how well they make a space mojito.

And he finds himself back in the room where all the people are in suspended animation. But he doesn’t see a beautiful woman. Or rather, he doesn’t just see a beautiful woman, he sees many people. A child holding a favorite toy. A man with a prosthetic leg. A pair of twins. So many people. And he watches the video profiles of all the other 4999 passengers and tries to find out as much information about ALL of them as possible. Because he has 4999 people for his neighbors and right now he just wants to feel like he’s not alone.

He starts talking to them, knowing they’ll never answer him, but it helps a little bit. He knows all of them by name and he cares about all of them very much. Because that’s as close to human contact that he’s ever going to get, because gods forbid him waking any of the 4999 other passengers up and damning them to a live in a metal box in space that’d be fucking cruel.

And then something happens and the ship’s in danger and it can’t be fixed without a human. He tells the robo bartender that if he doesn’t come back, to tell the others that he’s sorry. And he goes to fix it and succeeds and saves everyone, but he ends up being unable to get back inside the ship. But he can still access the intercom and says good bye to everyone he knows before he runs out of air.

And then when everyone wakes up and there’s a headcount, they’re confused as to why they’re one short. And they find out via security recordings and the robo bartender about the man who woke up early. The man who considered everyone of them a friend even though they had never met. The man who sacrificed himself without hesitation to save all of them. And all 4999 passengers are really touched by this and even after the colony is established and it prospers and becomes a fully civilized planet, the man who loved and saved them all is never forgotten.

And I came up with that about 10 seconds after reading the article, checkmate screenwriters.

See I would go see this movie in a HEARTBEAT.  This actually sounds like a good film on its own, and tbh I feel cheated that instead of this, we got gross male entitlement and overall lack of consent.  I’m just going to pretend that this is the real movie, because there’s no way I’m going to Passengers and it’s a shame because I was actually looking forward to it.