Month: May 2016

widowmaker: classic continental breakfast. lady grey tea.
pharah: cucumber slices, yogurt, some kind of flaky spinach pastry. strong cardamom tea.
soldier 76: an entire grapefruit, no sugar, no spoon.
winston: peanut butter crunch with banana slices.
lucio: bowl of own breakfast cereal. orange juice.
reaper: count chocula and donuts. dips the donuts in the leftover chocolaty cereal milk.
d.va: a single monster energy.
bastion: powered by solar energy so technically breakfast is all day.
genji: a crisp cucumber lime gatorade for the electrolytes while he’s docked to his charging station.
junkrat: a 6-pack of five-hour energy, every 4 hours.
roadhog: a rasher of turkey bacon while he explains how much personality pigs have.
torbjörn: hard-boiled egg halves cemented to dry crackers with fermented fish paste. calls each one “my masterpiece!”
hanzo: a bowl of quality rice. if genji is watching, douses it in cheap soy sauce out of spite.
symmetra: tofurkey sausages in soylent glaze.
mccree: hash browns, over-easy eggs, black coffee. actually really good at breakfast, it’s the one thing he has going for him.
mei-ling: better at breakfast than mccree.
mercy: ihop at 3 AM
tracer: ihop at 3 AM
reinhardt: ihop at 3 AM. keeps trying to order the grand slam despite that being a denny’s menu item.
zarya: ihop at 3 AM. has somehow found the denny’s rockstar menu and orders a hooburrito despite it being discontinued and, again, an ihop.
zenyatta: ihop at 3 AM. doesn’t eat, just there to embrace nothingness.

zarya: how can i trust a machine
bastion: beoow *turns into a minigun turret*
zarya:
bastion: brrp bup ba BEP ba BEEEHHHH *turns into a tank*
zarya: *lifting bastion into the air, crying* THIS IS MY DAUGHTER! THIS IS MY DAUGHTER!

soldier 76: *in the growliest voice possible* does everyone have their rations?
pharah: by “rations” i assume you’re referring to the zip-loc bags full of orange slices you passed out earlier?
soldier 76: its important to stay hydrated, Amari