If you’re cis and a het ace // aro, you are straight. That’s literally what the term ‘straight’ means. It’s not that you’re ‘not queer enough’, it’s that you are not ‘queer’ (a slur, not an umbrella identity) at all.
Society is not concerned with the ‘how’ of your attraction (i.e., how you do or do not experience attraction). If you are not SGA or MGA and/or a trans person, you don’t experience the same oppression that LGBT people do. That oppression (which is not even a singular oppression, but a series of closely related interlocking oppressions) is what brought the ‘community’ together. So someone who does not experience that oppression but in fact has a hand in wielding it (as cishet aces/aros do) has absolutely no place in the ‘community’.
The ‘A’ historically stood for ‘Allies’ because the inclusion of ‘Allies’ gave closeted people a way to access the community without outing themselves. Only in the last two decades did AVEN (an organization that was, surprise surprise, founded by a cishet ace dude) decide to co-opt that placement and position themselves as if the ‘A’ meant ‘Asexual/Aromantic’ all along.
Stigma is not always oppression. Some counter arguments cishet aces/aros bring up literally cannot be compared to the shit LGBT people face (‘I came out to my dad and he won’t stop making plant jokes’ vs ‘I came out and I was disowned, abused, thrown out’). Some counter arguments cishet aces/aros bring up stem from other forms of oppression (like misogyny), or are overall examples of abuse. Cishet aces/aros like to throw things in our faces, things we’re intimately aware of (like corrective rape- a term originally coined to describe the phenomena of lesbians being raped and murdered by men, something cishet aces/aros face due to misogyny and overall patterns of abuse, not due to systematic oppression like homophobia).
Cishet aces and aros routinely hurt LGBT people, among them LGBT aces and aros (surprise! we exist!). You repeat the same homophobic rhetoric every straight person has in their repertoire, only you think you’re radical for doing so. Cishet aces/aros prosit themselves as one of the /forgotten orientations/ (a concept which is a load of bullshit in and of itself) as if they experience what MGA people do, while simultaneously hurting those very same people. And worse yet, this whole discourse has bred a community of straight people who are incredibly outspoken about their literal hatred of gay people. If I had a dollar for every time some white ace dude ranted about how much he hated lesbians (only because we’re Evil Gatekeepers, of course!), I would be rich enough to buy this site and ban you all from it.
Thanks, – a very tired aro lesbian
Things that asexuals experience that LGBT,demisexuals, pansexuals, polysexuals, two spirit, etc…. (I can go on further but to save time here is just this):
●you just haven’t sex with a girl/boy yet
●look how attractive she/he is, don’t you feel anything
●you just haven’t found the one keep looking
●who did you wrong
●rape to correct the quote on quote “problem”
●lack of acceptance from any side like bi, pan, poly, etc…
●having their sexuality criticized for being in a relationship like bi, pan, poly, etc…
●having there identity stripped because it supposedly not real
●it’s just a hormone ImbalanceShould keep going or is this enough. There not asking to be apart of your stupid club they want feel accept and loved you fucking kumquat