biggest hetero lie i’ve been told: fighting is a part of a healthy romantic relationship

My mother and father used to fight constantly. Screaming, hysterical, terrifying fights that would leave me and my little sister hiding and crying and trying not to listen. Afterwards my mom would always tell me the same thing. “It’s normal for couples to fight. If we don’t fight, we’ll never compromise.”

And that was a lie. One that was told to my mother, one that was told to me and my sister, one that’s told to way too many girls. It’s a lie meant to keep women in line, even when their husbands scream and break things and abuse them.

Romantic relationships that are truly based on mutual respect do not need to rely on fear, anger, or violence to have healthy communication.

I was shocked when I ended up (after many an unhealthy relationship) in a relationship where we literally never fight. We don’t just avoid touchy subjects. We don’t just agree to disagree. We talk and we value each others thoughts and we care about each others emotions. And because of that, we don’t fight. We have been together over two years and we have not had a single fight. We don’t always agree but we always communicate and care for each other and we never yell or scream or threaten or insult.

Anyone who tells you all couples fight is lying to you, whether they know it or not. Relationships can be mutually respectful and you don’t have to settle for anything less than that.

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