With the new year lurking just around the corner like a vampire awaiting their invitation to enter, we wish to remind you that every night – every moment – is the perfect time to:

  1. Choose evil. You needn’t be rude or cruel (we advocate against both). You don’t need a tragic back story. You will start noticing your wardrobe selections improving. You might even start seeing ghosts and phantoms, wonderful omens, and all manner of doomery! You’ll start shifting words such as “doom” into “doomery”!
  2. Say hello to the moon.
  3. Write more notes and letters. As complex as “Here is my theories on STAR MOVIE that I just saw” or as simple as “I am thinking of you at 1:59 AM on an idle Wednesday morning.”
  4. Drink more water. Consider it mermaid training.
  5. Check on your potions. Let them simmer too long and they’ll become sentient. And they do not wash the cauldrons when they get up, steal half of your gear, and make off to foreign lands I haven’t forgiven you yet Slorp the Purple Levitation Potion I know you read this blog and I will find you yet.