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the birth of dionysos, v1

[Zeus disguised as a mortal again]
Zeus: “wanna bang”
Semele: “yeah okay”
Zeus: “nice. Never ask me to show you my true self.”
Semele: [pregnant]
Hera: “what the fuck, Zeus”
Hera: [disguised as an old lady] “hey Semele if your lover truly loved you he’d show you his true self” [crosses fingers]
Semele: “damn you’re right hey mystery lover if you truly loved me you’d swear this oath okay swear on the Styx”
Hades: “Zeus no—“
Zeus: “sure”
Semele: “swell okay reveal your full self to me”
Zeus: “… fuck” [does so]
Semele: [fried]
Zeus: “HERMES HELP”
Hermes: “SHIT”
Hades: [grumbles into his palm]
Hermes: “QUICK MAN WE GOTTA PUT THIS BABY IN YOUR THIGH”
Apollo: “that’s not how medicine wor—“
Hermes: “NO TIME” [sews the baby into Zeus’ thigh]
Hades: “how the fuck have you all lived this long my god”

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