I might go dig out a pack of cards later but I wanted to post this before I lost my nerve. I needed to write this.

It wasn’t until partway through college that I even heard of being asexual as a legitimate thing. It took even longer before I finally felt comfortable enough to actually say I was ace. I wish I’d heard about it much sooner–it would have saved me a lot of years and some bad experiences trying to fit with what I thought I was “supposed” to be like.

Because no one ever told me it was okay to just…not like that kind of thing. I thought I was…wrong, somehow, that I hadn’t grown up enough yet, or part of puberty had lagged behind on me, and I wanted to fit in. God, did I want to fit in so badly.

I felt like I had to act a certain way, go along with certain things because that’s what was “normal.” Because I was normal too, right? I felt normal to me. Maybe I was just late picking up on it.

I wish I’d had someone to tell me from day one that it was okay to just not. That it was still normal. That you can be an adult, be mature, and just not like sex. That it’s not childish, it doesn’t make you immature. It was just another thing that was totally normal, and yes, totally valid.

At the very least that I wasn’t the only one.

So just….to past me, or anyone else still struggling with this kind of thing:

You’re not broken.
You’re not wrong.
You’re fine just the way you are.
No change required.