miilkweeds:

SIGNS U CAN AND SHOULD FIGHT:
taurus– theyre uptight nd good liars but will probably overthink it nd back out. fight them. do it. they need it. honestly just start a fight club with a taurus. it doesnt matter who wins, if u can get them hooked on bloodlust maybe theyll chill the fuck out. theyre so wrapped up in their comfort zone itll be good for them. just make sure yr fighting them, and not fighting something theyre protective/possessive over, bc then theyll fuck u up. 
gemini- inherently fake, will try to manipulate the situation nd be a big drama queen abt it.  as long as u can knock them out b4 they spread their filthy lies u’ll be ok. once u let a gemini talk yr done and theres no hope and youll either be too confused or annoyed or in love to do much of anything. we’re going to make up a story later anyway to tell anyone who will listen so it doesnt rly matter anyway what happens. fight a gemini, i promise they only seem untouchable and are lying about everything 100% of the time. 
pisces- please. normally i would say that pisces are ridiculous to fight, bc what are they hurting? literally all we do is pick flowers and sigh and wish we were sleeping, we’re not hurting anyone. but honestly? do it. fight us. havent u always wanted to fight a baby? pisces are not only the babies of the zodiac but we are literal infants in real life all we do is cry and sleep. someone needs to do it, so please, do yr zodiacal duty and fight a pisces.

SIGNS U CAN FIGHT BUT SHOULDNT:
cancer- u can fight them but why? theyre so sad. theyll just make u sad as u fight them, nd theres no sport or joy in it. dont fight a cancer. theyll probably fall in love with u after anyway. tread carefully there. they just want someone to listen to them, record them crying, and make them a mixtape of their own sadness to fall asleep to. honestly im sad just writing this. if u do catch them at a good time, just let them enjoy it. back off dude.
virgo- theyre probably holding a baby or a puppy or something. nd theyll just complain abt u breaking their phone. this is not even a person u need to fight. they just wanna do their own thing. go let them….. do……….whatever they do for fun. no one really knows, im p sure virgos just spend 90% of their time staring out windows or sitting in the dark. i dont know. just dont fight them. i dont think theyve done anything in their entire life let alone anything fight worthy.
libra- this one is tough, like…. maybe u should fight them? its iffy. theyre generally pretty inconspicuous, but theyre v sneaky, so u can never kno what abt them is an act and whats real. maybe its worth fighting them, only to know them. it doesnt seem like theyd rly know whats going on, even if u did, u kno?theyre kinda caught up in their own shit. so who knows, maybe they need a boost out of their own swirling pit of weird thoughts. i dunno, leave this to yr own intuition. unless yr a leo, who will fight anything, whether it morally questionable or not. 
aquarius- heres the thing, no matter how mad u get an an aquarian, theyll find a way to turn it into a learning experience for themselves and improve. theres no point. you may as well not even be there, they wont see you. they live their lives as a serious of hurdles to navigate. they wont understand the effort yr putting in to fighting them, and will just want to get it over with so they can continue solving the million of other problems theyve just invented for themselves. earth to space cadet aquarius, we’re out here, wanting to engage in some good old fashion fisticuffs, get yr head in the game and fuckin fight us. honestly whatever, maybe if they actually put any effort in they could be a problem, bc they tend to be really intense abt everything they do. but i doubt thatll happen any time soon bc theyre literally pulled in so many different directions they dont even kno whats going on.

SIGNS U CANT FIGHT BUT FUCKIN DO IT ANYWAY:
leo- knock. them. the. fuck. out. u kno u want to. who doesnt. even leos want to fight themselves. its actually a ritual for two leos meeting to fight just to see who is the superior. its a way of life for them, embrace it. the only real chance u have of winning is wearing them down. theyre aggressive but like i said, they also want to kick their own ass, so see if u can drag it out long enough for them to get bored, switch sides, nd give up. no matter what u do theyll think they won anyway but whatever its so worth it fight a fuckin leo
sagittarius- honestly? do it, fight them. they want u do, they carry boxing gloves with them at all times hoping for a good rousing fight. these fuckers are who ”the most dangerous game” was written about they love this shit. they live for it. theyll not only be the one to ask you to duke it out but theyll want to do it on top of a train falling off a cliff. i say humor them. theyre probably a survivalist and know like ten kinda of kung fu but idk maybe theyll buy you lunch after to go over pointers for yr technique. go for it.
capricorn– this is not going to be easy. capricorns are constantly searching for some sort of affirmation theyve done well, from whoever it is they take direction from. god? their dad? their boss? who knows. what we do know is that they will stop at nothing. if they think fighting you will complete them, they will literally murder u. theyre the biggest overachieviers and they love it. they do deserve to be fought though, because if we dont fight them they may go unchecked and just keep going until they burn out. its done out of love.

SIGNS U CANNOT FIGHT PLS DONT:
aries- full of rage at all times 24/7 no joke. even if u think theyre tired out and u can handle it just kno u cant. theyre weird as shit and angry literally always. when u think u have it in the bag theyre be reminded of some small slight that happened in fifth grade, transfer their rage to you, and will become 10x stronger for their obsessive grudge holding. theyve stored up a lifetime of weird shit to be mad about and are just waiting for some asshole to unleash it on. dont be that asshole, walk away.
scorpio- u cannot win this fight. scorpios have dark forces assisting them. scorpios will not only kill u, they will show up 2 yr funeral lookin ike a 2007 mall goth and claim they can talk to your ghost. dont. they literally only feel whole when they smell blood and fear, and it may as well be yours. u DEFINITELY want to fight them, only because it seems right. scorpios are designed to want to be fought, its theyre whole thing. they only go places where they think there will be someone willing to beat the shit out of them. its a trap, like how angler fish dangle that light in front of their huge terrible maw. what i am saying is there is literally no difference between an anglerfish and a scorpio, they will devour u the same way and then disappear back into the darkness. honestly what the fuck scorpio.