shithowdy:

shithowdy:

My disco priest has hit Outland levels! The new class joining the ranks always brings such a joy.

Being new to a class means not having a firm grasp of its mechanics. Mistakes are forgivable. Mistakes are inevitable. Driving four other people to consider plowing their heads through their computer monitors because you can’t be bothered to read your abilities’ tooltips or act like a civil human being is why our ancestors gave us vodka. Every class is guilty of many of these sins in their own way, but none so famous as the freshly-risen death knight.

Strap on your heirlooms and pull up your shot glass: it’s time to spam dungeons and get alcohol poisoning, because this is the Outland Dungeon DK Drinking Game.

TAKE A DRINK IF:

  • They are from Moon Guard (US) with a tacky, erotic name (eg; “Futanatrixx”) (Take an extra drink if a female Draenei or Worgen)
  • They have a meme-inspired name (eg; “Wowsuchfrost”)
  • They’re AFK at the dungeon entrance and only come back when the group begins asking if they’re there
  • They consistently lag 100 yards behind the rest of the group, only to show up and drop a Death and Decay once everything is already dead
  • They roll on healing plate
  • They spam Icy Touch at range
  • Over 80% of their damage dealt is from melee white hits and the healer has done more overall damage just from shooting off offensive spells in their downtime

TAKE TWO DRINKS IF:

  • Death Grip is a part of their DPS rotation
  • They are Unholy, but don’t have a ghoul.
  • Their method of pulling as a tank is “run into a group, stand still for two seconds, then icy touch a single mob”
  • They’re wearing heirlooms and doing significant damage, but demand the first-timer tank do “bigger pulls”
  • They link Recount in party chat (take two every time!)
  • They deem the tank too slow and pull ahead or extra (take a shot if this causes a wipe)
  • You’re the only non-death knight in the group

TAKE A SHOT IF:

  • They’re DPSing in Blood Presence
  • They’re tanking in Frost Presence
  • They’re tanking without Death and Decay, Blood Boil, or diseases and the healer pulls HoT aggro from everything but their single target
  • They start bragging about their main when nobody asked
  • They slowly keyboard-turn in confusion if their aggro is lost, despite being otherwise trigger-happy with death grip
  • Friendly aggro-holding or damage-dealing advice from party members is met with, “This is low level; it doesn’t matter” or hostility
  • You kick them and get another DK

Good luck and have fun in your Outland leveling experience!

I’m doing this tonight. RIP me.

Good luck and godspeed.