This month is Heterosexual awareness month. To start you off, here are some tips for the next few weeks:

  • If you spot a heterosexual, do not run. They are able to sense fear and you will only excite them.
  • Try to mimic their behavior and blend in, then either make your escape or slaughter them at nightfall when they go to rest.
  • Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES look directly at the glowing runes on their back.
  • If a heterosexual attempts to communicate with you, do not panic. They have mistaken you for one of their own and will remain relatively calm as long as you do not give yourself away. At the first opportunity, excuse yourself from the conversation and get to higher ground.

And now, the weather.