Look at my arm right there.  You see that?  I got that when I was 18 years old, and I’ll tell you something: I regret it, cause this tattoo don’t come off.  I have a tattoo of a cow’s head because I loved that cheese then.  So I get the cow, and I go in there and I’m a little drunk… and I said, “Gimme that cow head from that cheese, I love that cheese… ” And now I have a cow, a cheese cow on my arm, Brendan.  Don’t get a tattoo, that’s what I’m telling you.  Play soccer.  Brendan, take a look at my chest.  You know what that is right there?  That’s the woman from the Chiquita Banana.  I got that tattooed on my chest.  I am an idiot.  I’ve got trademarked products all over my body.  It’s like going to a market.  Because I was drunk one night.  Don’t live like me.

i just read this entire thing in his voice

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