“I’m your twin sister and also River from another timeline and a skinny Adipose and your eleventh self and K-9 in an alternative universe and Stormageddon’s governess and Captain Jack’s wife and Donna Noble’s granddaughter and a secret spy for the Master and the human essence of your sonic screwdriver and the moderator of the Doctor Who tumblr and Sue from catering and Stefanie Moffat and my name is Clara Oswin Plus-Eighty-Four-Other-Middle-Names-That-I’ll-Slowly-Reveal-to-You-Over-Time Oswald. You killed my father, Rory, prepare to die.”