Let me tell you a story about Anasterian.  This mother fucker ruled the high elves for thousands of years, casually keeping his people safe from everything and making their society so fucking advanced and comfortable and wonderful that he might as well have shit butter and bathed in liquid gold.

Bitches sat around sucking him off all day and used his semen to refill the sunwell because that’s how hardcore this fatherfucker was.

So one day Arthas was like lol takin the crown and killed his dad and was like yii and gave Lordaeron to his friends like a good Republican, and Anasterian was like ballzaki if that mother fucker comes though Quel’thalas this is gonna suck.

So naturally Arthas did and you know the story about Sylvanas w/e she’s a hero give that girl a medal and like

Can you imagine just chillin on your throne

Looking out over the sea like ah what a nice day to do some meth or whatever

and this dude in icicle boots is standing on the shore like lol burned down your boats GUESS WHAT

and fucking makes TURNS THE SEA INTO A GIANT BRIDGE OF FROST to march his army of demons and dead guys into Quel’danas.

Meanwhile Anasterian’s like o nigga no you did not just touch my yacht and walks out to the path of frost and like



Like this guy is so badass he just destroys Arthas’s bridge, but he makes it anyway and they bring out their cards to duel

Anas is like 3000 years old right now and Arthas is some young buck kid Lich King with a corpse dick, and Anas is almost matched despite being old as balls.

But he knows he can’t beat the white ranger, so uh.  Instead of just losing?

This mother fucker cuts off Invincible’s legs.

He’s also like dw a staff and a sword fyi he’s pretty much the hardest guy ever, cuts off the horse’s legs and Arf is like NO MY HORSEY and murders him and takes a shit in the sunwell

Meanwhile Jaina is like “Oh kael’thas sorry about your dad” and kael’thas is like “bitch I look better in a skirt than you ever will” and that’s the story of anasterion

lor’themar is cool 2