Month: August 2012

ever-enigmatic:

There were a lot of complaints.  Not to worry, Blizzard listened.  Blizzard Entertainment wants to provide balance as well as fun to the community, and for years has prided themselves on doing just this.  We wanted the classes to feel similar yet different upon the encroaching Mists of Pandaria, and so, it was our desire to make a couple minor changes but still give classes their overall same feel.

• Death Knight
  -You are literally the Lich King.  Literally.
  -New change in Unholy.  All targets effected by your Ebon Plague now get Cancer, which us unhealable and unrecoverable.
  -Why are you still trying to PVP in Frost spec.  Just why.
• Druid
  -Your proc heals are now your cast heals and your cast heals are now your proc heals.  We really don’t know, this seemed like a good thing at the time, then we sobered up.
  -You have four specs now and can turn into stars.  Why are you complaining.  Stars bro.  Fucking stars.
  -You have increased stats in your other specs when in your main spec, because everyone knows that resto druids will SUDDENLY BE FERAL CATS DURING RAID BOSS FIGHTS, because THAT makes sense, right?
  -We wanted to give Druids the added benefit of being annoyed by their friends by being actual mounts.  Have fun toting baddies to 30% nerfed DS for the next three weeks, loser.
• Hunter
  -Did you like PVP?  Heh.  Hehehe.  Ahaahahah! HahahaHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAAHAAHAHAAHAAHAH!
  –HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH!
• Mage
  -In Cataclysm, to pull big numbers, we forced everyone to spec Fire even though not everyone wanted to.   We here at Blizzard know how much you don’t like Fire, so we put everything that made Fire unique into ALL the mage specs!  Now, EVERY spec is Fire!  Blizzard loves you.
• Paladin
  -Blizzard doesn’t like to lie to you, you are our favorite.  So what we did this patch was lie to you and call all the abilities you already had by a different name so you’ll think this is all new but in actuality, you really haven’t changed much.
  -PVP now requires you to think.  I know, I know, we don’t like it either.
  -We gave you more AoE heals at the sacrifice of all your mana and took away immediate reactionary heals that may have been quite useful.  Yup.
  -New minor Glyph.  Glyph of Holy Radiance; For each cast of the re-re-RE-engineered Holy Radiance, you die a little inside.
• Priest
  -We heard you like healing so we gave you more ineffective heals to replace the effective heals you had at a higher base mana cost, because you were made for healing, so let’s take that effectiveness away because we appreciate you so much.
  -Shadow Word: Insanity; Shit on everyone that bragged about Boomkin DPS because yeah.
  -Crows, bro.  Crow everywhere.
• Rogue
  -If you don’t PVP with this class, you are.
  -Officially.
  -A faggot.
• Shaman
  -Why are you still playing this class.
  -No seriously.
  -No.  How many times do we have to nerf you to make you hate this class like we do.
  -Like, we’re not even kidding.
  -Monks can do your job but better and are newer and more fun and twice as OP as you.  Why aren’t you rerolling.  I don’t even get it.
  -You must REALLY hate yourself, huh?
• Warlock
  -WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
  –WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
  -The sad thing is, we buffed you and no one will take you seriously, just like Taylor Swift.
• Warrior
  -We’ve made changes to Rage and Rage generation.  Now, instead of your controlled character generating rage, YOU generate rage, because we touched you with our smelly, Green Jesus loving hands.
  -Every macro you made to micromanage your stance dance is now useless, stop complaining.

Remember, Blizzard loves you, and we take your complaints very seriously.  We have given you everything you love and taken your class and added our bit of flare.  We here at Blizzard Entertainment feel that after so many years of hating yourself, why not hate yourself even more for just the low low price of $15.00 USD a month?  We appreciate you paying for your anguish, and value your community.

Go with honor, friend.

No, it was all automatic for me. Started the launcher, it reorganized the files, downloaded some stuff, and then said I could play.