My (cruel) replies to Zooley’s orphan kid:

Picture 1: You failed at failing, thus you are a failure and will be a failure for life.

Picture 2: No. Go into a dungeon and get your own things. 

Picture 3: You die. 

Picture 4: LOL. You’re funny. 

I still love you, you little bastard.

That last one is best, because of the model.