Chats

Please reblog if you are over 25 years old. I need to convince myself that I’m not just communicating with 13 year olds. Not that they aren’t nice mind you, but sometimes I feel like the only old person on tumblr.

Aries: Dom
Taurus: Sub
Gemini: Both
Cancer: Sub
Leo: Dom
Virgo: Both
Libra: Sub
Scorpio: Both
Sagittarius: Dom
Capricorn: Dom
Aquarius: Both
Pisces: Sub

tumblr staff leader sitting in a big swivel chair smoking a cigar and stroking his chin with hundred dollar bills: so the polls are in…. we know the features users hate the most…… but what seem to be the ones they like the best?????
some poor intern: that appears to be the reply feature, sir
tumblr staff leader: delete it immediately

Dante: [People who can’t park in the lines] need to find jesus christ so he can take the wheel for you.

Heterosexual: Fuck that.
Homosexual: Fuck this.
Bisexual: Fuck you and also you.
Pansexual: Fuck everything.
Demisexual: Fuck you in particular.
Asexual: Fuck no.

me, a big buff werewolf biker: [lifts my shirt to show you my scars] [points to one] i got this one from a kitty that didnt want tumtum scratches. and this one is from a baby bird nipping me. it was scared because it missed its mom.

King of France: and why the fuck would we send money and assistance to those resisting their sovereign??
Advisor: well it would be a big ‘fuck you’ to England
King of France: send funds to America

me: what could possibly go wrong?

anxiety: well here is a list of 88,790,446 initial ideas, and I’m already working on some more

Has Weird Kinks and is Ashamed: Virgo, Taurus, Cancer.
Has respectable and good kinks: Capricorn, Pisces, Aries.
Just Down For It All: Sagittarius, Libra, Gemini.
Has The Worst Kinks, Ain’t Ashamed: Aquarius, Leo, Scorpio.