A copy of Tevruden's blog because I don't Trust Like that anymore.
So Tevrugos decided to turn himself into a vorkai.
I’m officially stealing “Tevorkai” from Benchflip, and christening this as such.
The nice thing about having an OC that’s a shapeshifting dragon is that I can basically turn him into whatever looks cool.
She likes to be tall
More like the two Rons from parks and Rec:
OK SO ORIGINALLY Tevrugos was originally “Dragon AU Tevruden,” but then I started actually writing/RPing him, and he ended up being a completely different character, with a completely different personality now (so: he’s nice) and the only thing thing they share anymore is Tevrugos’ assumed name and the hair style. Tevrugos is totally shameless about the color blue tho.
Tevruden, the Death Knight, has a bad habit of getting turned into stuff, (he once got turned it to a keeper of the grove after pointing out that Malfurion never actually helps do anything) and is generally a rude and terrible person. The horns are new but you can Totally Ignore Them I’m Sure They Don’t Mean Anything At All. 😉
So basically they’re two different people they just happen to look sorta the same.
the biggest lie, i think, the internet perpetuates about D&D is that a skinny little twink of a bard just needs to roll a nat 20 to seduce a dragon
like a dragon…a creature with more wealth and power than any other creature on the planet…a creature who is easily an 11/10 when they deign to take humanoid form…would look at your skinny little 8 STR half-elf Bard whose own father doesn’t even love them and go…yeah I’d like to fuck that
Counterpoint, my good man:
Dragons fuck
Dragons fuck, clearly, but not just any joe blow schmoe with a big Charisma stat. If I’m Joseph J Dragon sitting on a small hill of gold and jewels I’m not gonna waste my time boning every monsterfucking tiefling twink with a lyre. I would have standards.
Counter-counterpoint: dragons are SUPER horny
Counter-counter-counterpoint: even if dragons are SUPER horny they’ve got better prospects than spindly little bards!!!! They could be off fucking cloud giants or beholders or planetars!!!! They could be having sex with kraken in the middle of the ocean or fire giants in the mouth of an erupting volcano!
There is a wealth of sexual excess and opportunity available to dragons; so much that they do not need to be slumming it with an adventurer who hasn’t washed his ass in a month and a half and is probably covered in kobold blood by the time they get to the dragon’s lair!
Seriously!!!
I don’t care how many times you cast Charm Monster, the Elder Dragon who has probably slept with more princesses than there are princedoms is not going to bite! When you have bedded the most beautiful mortals on the Prime Material Plane on a pile of gold and jewelry you are not gonna be looking twice at any MOTHERFUCKEr who can’t at least True Polymorph to make things interesting
triple-counterpoint:
you’re right but please shut up you are actively ruining my 10 strength half-elf twink bard’s sexual prospects with this post
After all dragons are basically giant cats sooo…
Tevrguos: Uhhhhhhhh
This is basically how Tevrugos is gonna spend all of next expac, on a beach, drinking margaritas, not caring about the dumbest war ever.
By @lychgate
