Do you ever eat popcorn out of the palm of your own hand with such ardent desperation that you feel like both a wild horse and the gentle schoolgirl feeding it treats to gain its affection
Hey there guys. It’s me, in 2022, commenting on this post from 2016. There’s been a lot of people on this site lately being like “oooh no don’t make viral uwu I’m so pathetic, little, and defenseless and my poor notifications can’t handle 10k reblogs” well first of all ALL of us are pathetic, little, and defenseless and secondly none of our notifications can handle 10k reblogs and thirdly I’m not a coward and I think this should have a million notes. Not because of its own merit as a post, I just think it’d be funny if when I turn 30 this year and I reflect on the greatest accomplishments of my life thus far, I have to at least consider putting “famous tumblr popcorn post” on the list
Hi there guys. It’s me, again. It is December 8, and my birthday is December 16 (and fyi I didn’t even get my birthday off from work which I’m being so brave about, just saying) and I want you all to gather round and listen to my pitch. I could tell you that I really want this, which I do but I also think it’d be really funny to NOT reach my goal and to start my thirties on the note of failure but like a really stupid kind that doesn’t matter and is very funny. I could tell you that getting this post to a million notes will benefit you in some way, but it absolutely won’t, except in the general tumblr sense of getting to participate in committing to the crowdsourced bit, which is actually the truest joy this webbed site can offer. I could even be very earnest and say something how for better or worse tumblr had a hand in defining my twenties, and even when I’ve been infuriated with parts of it, it is genuinely the only social media that doesn’t make me feel like shit and isn’t impossible for me to use, and at very hard times in my life the weird community has been a comfort, but that’s TOO EARNEST. Knock that shit off.
Instead, I offer you this: if you reblog this post with tags, like anything at all in the tags, multiple reblogs won’t be collated together meaning that you can make my notifications truly unusable. Think about that you fuckin jackals. Can you resist the urge to be both helpful and annoying as shit
As a person who just passed out of their 30s on the 8th, there’s a lot more worse ways you could start them out than with your tumblr notifications in shambles so, have fun!