Reaper: *slightly annoyed* Please take off your hat when you’re inside
McCree: [takes off hat revealing a slightly smaller hat]
McCree: I can do this 14 more times
Imagine one of those vampires that spent a few decades napping and now they’re trying to catch up as best they can so they’re in a library looking through years of old magazines and overhear some middle-schooler discussing her project about the moon-landing and they’re like “WHAT!!!”
“You have to tell me everything about this!!!”
A confused but enthusiastic sixth-grader unfolds her trifold poster board and tells an absolutely captivated 3000 year old man-eater about the space race.
More like “I LITERALLY HAVENT EVEN GOTTEN THROUGH THE RECONSTRUCTION ERA PLEASE TAG SPOILERS”
I’M!!
“Have you gotten to Franz Ferdinand being shot yet?” An Austrian Vampire, angrily looking up from a ninth-grade history book: “are you FUCKING KIDDING ME??”
“yeah you know…lincoln doesnt get reelected” Vampire: “well why NOT he seems perfectly capable and oooh…oh…”
FRICK
I LOVE THIS SO MUCH
“So, you know pluto isn’t a planet, right?”
*Vampire chucks astronomy book written in 1994 at the person*
Imagine the vampire asking people who killed JFK and they’re all like ‘no one knows’ and the vampire just sighs and says ‘ok I know I said no spoilers but this is just getting ridiculous. someone tell me.”
so apparently this coworker of mine used to play a lot of dnd and he had an orc rogue i think, who’s obviously supposed to be a stealth-centric character. But instead of channeling his abilities into dexterity or anything else stealthy, he channeled it all into charisma for the sake of intimidation. Essentially he, a hulking and undexteritous orc, would attempt to sneak into a building. If he was spotted, he would roll for intimidation (and win almost every time) and shout “YOU DO NOT SEE GROGG” at them and proceed.
