he didn’t want this
[OC]
What’s your opinion on centaurs vs stairs. How (un)successfully do you think they’d try and get up and down stairs?
ohh I think it would depend entirely on the stairs, but they would be able to manage most stairs, depending on the setting and what kind of hooves they have! As obviously a draft-type taur may have more trouble keeping their big ol dinnerplates gripped onto some narrow stairs than a mini would with their delicate little tippers who could probably manage stairs that would give humans trouble!
But I think the biggest factor would be how steep they are, if you want to make sure any centaur will be able to climb your stairs, just make em shallow and then they’re only slightly more slippy than rough terrain!
but the steeper they go past 45 degrees or so and you’re closing in fast on a ladder, and we’ve already established how that goes for centaurs (NOT GOOD. TOO MANY LIMBS)
people on my “making AUs for OCs” post keep going like “oh you mean like a STORY? like a BOOK? OP that’s just a STORY!!” like no you don’t get it. you don’t get how much my friends and i play with our ocs like dolls. we’re talking swap AUs. homestuck classpecting. MLP AUs. evil AU. “so just making stories” you’re like a little baby to me. leave my sight
having adhd makes all of your thoughts feel like a 7-way venn diagram
and explaining anything like this
Thank you @fungalhazard for commissioning me! I really like how it turned out!
Back to earth
tags: transformation, monsterfucker, capitalism unfortunately 😔, height growth, tail growth, monster transformation, tf kink
“Jesus christ dude what the fuck did you DO to me last night?? ”
“The same shit I do Everynight! Alan! The same shit you beg for when you’re backin that gay ass up onto my monster junk every night! What, you think I knew this would happen??”
“I don’t know!! How the fuck else could I have sprouted a fucking tail overnight??”
Alan clutched the offending appendage to his chest like he was afraid it would attack him. It was long and muscular like a lizards tail, pushing down the hem of his gym shorts, flexible and vaguely prehensile. There was a small scattering of red scales cropping up from underneath the bare skin. It twitched in agitation as Alan stared expectantly at his boyfriend.
T’urin, the boyfriend in question, avoided his gaze as he wracked his brain for an explanation. He was adopted by a family of sorcerers who found him abandoned on their doorstep, so he really never knew what the hell was going on with him, biologically. But, they said they think he may be some sort of earth totem?? Whatever the hell that was…
All he knew for sure was that there was… a lot going on with him, body-wise. In his “natural” form, he loosely resembled a lion/dragon except covered in a dense coat of iridescent black feathers and three sets of zygodactyl claws. Horn-like spikes spiraled up from his head in a half circle that Alan had told him resembled a crown and made him look elegant.
Alan had been the first person outside of his family to have seen his “true form” and that night had been the first night he’d actually started to like it.
Ever since then, after they got together and had moved in together, more often than not that was the form he would default to. So, when Alan asked him to fuck him open in his monster form the first time, T’urin was nervous but mostly excited.
After that night, his monster form quickly became the default for whenever they were getting into it.
Clothes hit the floor, pants came off, and several extra feet and limbs grew out of places they shouldn’t.
T’urin smacked his face and rubbed his temples with his delicate clawed fingers.
That’s what they got for not using protection
“So what now?? I can’t go to work like this! They’ll think I’m a fucking furry or something!
Like a lightning bolt out of a clear blue sky, just then, Alan’s phone began to ring.
Alan picked it up and motioned like he was going to throw the phone. “FUCK fuck fuck FUcking FUCK it’s my manager, FUCK I’ve already forgotten about two shifts this month, I can’t miss another one!!” He answered the phone in his cheeriest voice, not even getting past the “Hi Nicole” before a shrill voice on the other line cut him off.
Alan looked like he was going to cry, his face scrunched up in defeat and his tail literally tucked between his legs.
T’urin stifled a giggle.
“Yes! I- …. yes. Right.. yes, I realize this is my final warning, thank you. Yes…. I will be there… Yes, Goodbye.
Hanging up the call, Alan let out a heavy defeated sigh and turned back into the bedroom, tail drooping.
“You’re actually gonna go??”
Alan came back out with his work shirt halfway on and a pair of giant black harem pants in one arm.
“You wanna eat this month?? Some of us can’t magically shapeshift their-” he shook the offending appendage at him “-freakin monsterparts away whenever they like!”
“Have you tried it though??”
Alan smacked his hands on either side of T’urin’s long muzzle and brought it close to his face.
“T’urin, light of my life, beloved eternal, I cannot express in the slightest how little control I have over this situation right now. Now please help me tie this big ass tail coming out of my ass to my leg so I can go to wOrK AND MAKE A PAYCHECK.”
A very suspicious honse.
assign prev a weird familiar
possum with two heads
wolf slug hybrid
a peacock that can only speak Monty Python quotes
a giraffe the size of a housecat
a rock with googly eyes glued to it (it moves when you aren’t looking at it)
a badger with teeny tiny fairy wings
two (2) yellow pikmin
snake with two little arms (knows how to wield tiny knives)
tacky garden gnome
skunk who’s spray smells like freshly cut grass and lemon
pocket sized horse
a mole rat that constantly changes color