- Walk in on parents having a heated debate.
- Am worried for a bit. Are they fighting?
- Realize parents are having a heated debate on whether or not goats can climb trees.
- Immediately side with mom, because I know goats can fuckin climb fucking ANYTHING because I remember the “crave that mineral” meme with the goat on the vertical cliff face apparently levitating to achieve the mineral it craves.
- who fuckin says the internet never taught me anything
- Dad has to leave to go back to work. Leaves convinced that no, goats can’t climb trees, they’re goats, they stay on the ground.
- Once he’s gone, youtube search “Moroccan Tree Goats.” Find self-explanatory video of several goat up in a fuckin tree like some Dr. Seuss shit.
- Mom looks at me like it’s the proudest she’s ever been of me in her life, including my university graduation
- She emails it to him. At work. My dad will get a video of Moroccan goats screaming in a tree at his place of business, with the subject line “I TOLD YOU SO.”
- Mom triumphantly yells to the empty house, “THIS IS WHY PEOPLE IN THE BIBLE THOUGHT GOATS WERE THE DEVIL.”
- Another ordinary day in my house.