When a member of an oppressed group tells you to stop doing something that triggers them or to not use a slur, they’re not violating your free speech, because they don’t actually have any power to stop you. You won’t be arrested, fined, or penalized in any way if you continue to do the thing that bothers them. They’re simply saying that if you respected them and people like them, you would stop. By continuing, you’re simply stating that you’re willingly choosing to not respect them.