“Jesus christ dude what the fuck did you DO to me last night?? ”
“The same shit I do Everynight! Alan! The same shit you beg for when youâre backin that gay ass up onto my monster junk every night! What, you think I knew this would happen??”
“I donât know!! How the fuck else could I have sprouted a fucking tail overnight??”
Alan clutched the offending appendage to his chest like he was afraid it would attack him. It was long and muscular like a lizards tail, pushing down the hem of his gym shorts, flexible and vaguely prehensile. There was a small scattering of red scales cropping up from underneath the bare skin. It twitched in agitation as Alan stared expectantly at his boyfriend.
Tâurin, the boyfriend in question, avoided his gaze as he wracked his brain for an explanation. He was adopted by a family of sorcerers who found him abandoned on their doorstep, so he really never knew what the hell was going on with him, biologically. But, they said they think he may be some sort of earth totem?? Whatever the hell that was…
All he knew for sure was that there was⌠a lot going on with him, body-wise. In his ânaturalâ form, he loosely resembled a lion/dragon except covered in a dense coat of iridescent black feathers and three sets of zygodactyl claws. Horn-like spikes spiraled up from his head in a half circle that Alan had told him resembled a crown and made him look elegant.
Alan had been the first person outside of his family to have seen his âtrue formâ and that night had been the first night heâd actually started to like it.
Ever since then, after they got together and had moved in together, more often than not that was the form he would default to. So, when Alan asked him to fuck him open in his monster form the first time, Tâurin was nervous but mostly excited.
After that night, his monster form quickly became the default for whenever they were getting into it.
Clothes hit the floor, pants came off, and several extra feet and limbs grew out of places they shouldn’t.
Tâurin smacked his face and rubbed his temples with his delicate clawed fingers.
Thatâs what they got for not using protection
âSo what now?? I canât go to work like this! Theyâll think Iâm a fucking furry or something!
Like a lightning bolt out of a clear blue sky, just then, Alanâs phone began to ring.
Alan picked it up and motioned like he was going to throw the phone. âFUCK fuck fuck FUcking FUCK itâs my manager, FUCK Iâve already forgotten about two shifts this month, I canât miss another one!!â He answered the phone in his cheeriest voice, not even getting past the “Hi Nicole” before a shrill voice on the other line cut him off.
Alan looked like he was going to cry, his face scrunched up in defeat and his tail literally tucked between his legs.
Tâurin stifled a giggle.
âYes! I- âŚ. yes. Right.. yes, I realize this is my final warning, thank you. YesâŚ. I will be there⌠Yes, Goodbye.
Hanging up the call, Alan let out a heavy defeated sigh and turned back into the bedroom, tail drooping.
âYouâre actually gonna go??â
Alan came back out with his work shirt halfway on and a pair of giant black harem pants in one arm.
âYou wanna eat this month?? Some of us canât magically shapeshift their-â he shook the offending appendage at him â-freakin monsterparts away whenever they like!â
âHave you tried it though??â
Alan smacked his hands on either side of Tâurinâs long muzzle and brought it close to his face.
âTâurin, light of my life, beloved eternal, I cannot express in the slightest how little control I have over this situation right now. Now please help me tie this big ass tail coming out of my ass to my leg so I can go to wOrK AND MAKE A PAYCHECK.â
Having ADHD is a lot like being only able to travel with a hot air balloon. When the wind is right and the weather conditions are ideal, you can effortlessly go wherever you could possibly want, with almost no energy seemingly spent. And when the weather just Will Not Do That, there’s nothing you can really do about it. Advice from people telling you to just fucking Grow Up And Learn To Steer don’t believe you when you say you’ve got no steering wheel. Your explanations of navigating different wind directions at different altitudes make no sense to them.
So you just gotta accept that some days the wind goes your way, some days it won’t. You can either exhaust yourself fighting the wind, accept that you’re going nowhere at all today, or that the direction you are currently going is not the way you planned to go. Why am I in Uruguay.
I think this is a really good metaphor, especially because it can be extended to explain how ADHD meds don’t actually make you not have ADHD, they just make it easier to manage. ADHD meds give you a little steering wheel and propeller with limited battery life, so you CAN steer a little bit! But even while you can steer, you’re still fundamentally in a hot air balloon.
