Month: January 2024

imic-pronounced-immick:

hotfudgecherryrosy:

soliusss:

soliusss:

Funniest thing I’ve seen on tiktok are those sigma male boys getting mad that American psycho was written by a gay man and going “well I like fight club better” buddy I’ve got some world ending devastating news for you

Why did this post breach containment 6 months later im planting a Bomb

At least they still have the matrix!

Everything Conservatives love was made by someone they would hate.

maramahan:

maramahan:

The greatest tragedy of Among Us is making friends and then accidentally disconnecting before you get to say goodbye

I just… I wound up hosting for a bit, and a player by the name “Dad of 3” came in to join my game

He was… well. Clueless is an understatement. When I say he has no idea what was going on, I mean the second round he was in he SLAMMED the alarm button and said “my screen said imposter what does that mean”

It means you’re the bad guy this time, dad,” We explained. “But next time try and keep it secret, okay?”

Okay

The next round, he killed another player right in front of me and immediately self-reported.

“I got my first kill,” he said.

Good job, dad!” we all replied. “You’re getting it”

He was so proud, next round, when he helped us catch the killer. And we were proud for him. He was trying so hard.

His kids showed him the game, he said — “Look dad a meme” — so he was playing it for them.

What’s sus” he had to ask. “Is it inappropriate?” “No dad. It’s short for suspicious, because suspicious is a lot to type.” “What’s gg?” “It means good game” “ok. Thank u. gg”

Two rounds later, he slammed the alarm again. “My map looks different,” he said. “There are buttons on it”

That means you’re the bad guy again, dad. You push them to sabotage us. Try it out”

We spent that round watching Dad of 3 gleefully pop in and out of vents at random and press all the buttons just to see what they did

Have you killed anyone yet dad?” “No. It feels strange.” “It’s okay. It’s just a game. You can kill us if you want to practice.”

He was trying so hard. I don’t know if he’d ever even played a video game before, but he was trying so hard to understand this thing his kids enjoyed, and my little group of strangers was doing our best to help him get there.

I’m so proud of that random father’s effort, and I’m proud of all the other players who were so willing to help him learn.

Then out of nowhere he was gone. Mid-round, Dad of 3 vanished to a bad connection, and I’m legitimately sad. I’d hoped we’d get the chance to play a round for real, and I’d have liked the chance to wish him luck and say goodbye.

But since I can’t do that, I’m throwing this into the void: I hope you have a nice time, Dad of 3, and I hope we were able to help you learn so you can have fun with your kids.

Good luck out there, buddy.

Daybreak says hello.

mrpinchy:

head in my hands TUMBLR IM BEGGING YOU if you’re eligible to vote in the united states please fucking vote for biden I KNOW HE FUCKING SUCKS but i stg if yall treat this like some kind of inspirational anime revolution where you’re gonna change the world by voting third party the exact same thing that happened in 2016 is gonna happen again, remember we already did this in 2016 remember when we all tried to vote for bernie and it didn’t fucking matter cuz IT TURNS OUT neither dems nor republicans actually give a shit about real democracy, which unfortunately means JUST voting for the person you earnestly believe in IS NOT ENOUGH TO CHANGE ANYTHING im so sorry elections are setup like this im so sorry our only options are wannabe hitler and genocide joe but these are LITERALLY our only 2 options. it fucking sucks! it sucks SO MUCH that the american people literally cannot vote for a third party alternative in a way that matters!!! it sucks that if you don’t pick one of these 2 shitty options your vote means nothing!!!! but that’s how shit is setup in our country (on purpose!) and not voting for biden (or not voting at all) is 100000% GOING TO MAKE EVERYTHING EVEN WORSE please IM BEGGING YALL please listen to your sad tired elders on this one i fucking hate joe biden but i promise he is unfortunately the best we we’re allowed to do under the current setup I WISH I HAD SOMETHING MORE INSPIRATIONAL TO SAY im so sorry shit is so bleak but the stakes are higher than they’ve ever been pleasePLEASE do not fuck around with your vote please dont throw it away

lokaror:

U step through the pearly gates and hear human male aggro sound. you are rooted by charge and the fury warrior kills you in seconds

dajo42:

if a supervillain said “you wont kill me thatd make you just like me” i would simply say “no it wouldnt id be saving millions of people” and the villain would say “but youd be dooming yourself. could you really live knowing youre a killer” and id say “well id certainly have trouble. ill probably be very sad about it. definitely a lot to unpack” and theyd say “so you wont do it” and id say “oh no im still gonna” and theyd say “what” and id say “youre a supervillain responsible for countless deaths and yet here you are desperately trying to bargain for your life. you want to live. which means you can easily live with yourself after being responsible for countless deaths. i, on the other hand, will at the very least have tremendous difficulty with even killing just one person and at worst might just jump out a window right after i do it. the very nature of this whole conversation about whether we are the same has proven to me we are very much not the same and i am certain killing you to save millions is the morally correct decision here” and theyd say “what” and id say “get killed idiot”

otherwindow:

otherwindow:

A desperate cleric slamming every healing spell so hard to bring someone back to life the ground is forced to grow plants and flowers around the body.

Decades later, guarded by a forest of roses and thorns, lies a corpse refusing to rot.