did not expect my work today to involve exploring an abandoned 150 year old house with a child in a striped shirt holding a lollipop. I have seen this horror movie I’m pretty sure.
oh she is mean to me
she told me I was unfit to have children of my own
and then out of nowhere squinted at me and said “you look like you’d be a fan of James Charles”
Her: [humming a creepy song and staring at me from under a table]
Me: “You’re doing the creepy ghost child thing now?”
Her: “Are you scared?”
Me: “Of ghosts? No. Why would I be? What’s scary about a ghost?”
Her: “A ghost girl could sneak up behind you and KILL you.”
Me: “A living girl could do that. So could a flight of too-steep stairs. Or if I ate a burrito too quickly. A ghost isn’t special in its ability to kill me.”
Her: “Is that because you’re weak? Why are you so easy to kill?”
Me: “It’s because I’m made of meat.”
Her: “You have problems.”
Me: “Big talk from a kid who is also made of meat. Watch out. There could be a burrito sneaking up behind you, too.”
Her: “What the fuck?”