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anyway, I was overcome with the sudden urge of drawing Az working his dayjob. a bit of spying here, a little torturing there, he’s actually pretty mean
st. george and the dragon (1908-9) – briton rivière / the vigil (1884) – john pettie / vanitas still-life (1705) – evert collier / david garrick as richard iii (1745) – william hogarth / micro sff stories tweet
More art than art #4 – After a waterleak in the bathroom above, this russian apartments plastic ceiling paint has stretched and captured the hundreds of litres of water.
poke a little hole in each so u can slurp dirty bathroom water like a baby cow
just stop supporting harry potter. just stop. “but i like magic school-” tales of earthsea. wayward children. “but i like sorting characters-” watch atla. become a warrior cats stan. “but-” percy jackson
fuck it become a sonic the hedgehog stan that’s what i did. instead of sorting characters into lil groups you give them a fursona and occasionally a superpower. it’s that easy
I’ve been collecting the best Jorts tweets and waiting until the moment he showed up on my dash to post them. So here you are, the curated best of the past, oh, day or so:
Some additional quality memes from the past 24 hours:
Meanwhile, OP has continued tracking trash can mishaps on twitter:
And a quality photo of this sweet potato:
An update for those not following Jorts’ twitter account, starting with a transcription of the Wellerman cover:
There once was a ship that put to sea The name of the ship was the Jorts and Jean The ship she rolled and her closet doors closed Oh no, where’s Jorts? Oh no!
Soon may the smarter cat come To save poor Jorts so orange and dumb One day when the butterin’s done We’ll take our leave and go
When Pam came on, she had a plan To teach our Jorts about garbage cans Pam meant well but her plans fell flat When HR said, “don’t butter the cat”
Soon may the smarter cat come To save poor Jorts so orange and dumb One day when the butterin’s done We’ll take our leave and go
Now Jean the smart cat comes She saves poor Jorts so orange and dumb Now that the butterin’s done We’ll take our leave and go
We’ll take our leave and go
We’ll take our leave and go
Additional quality memes:
A recipe for Buttered Jorts:
Recent Jorts activities:
And some very wise words from the cat himself:
This is the largest Jorts post I found before I decided to stop, and combines a lot of memes in one convenient package.
Along with cats, of course. Smartly done!
The person running the Jorts Twitter is using it to promote unions, which is awesome.
why don’t people in zombie apocalypse stories ever just wear suits of armor? you think any zombie is gonna get their shitty rotting jaws through this?
I’m gonna rip and tear my way through the zombie apocalypse completely unharmed because none of the undead hoards will be able to get through my plate mail
everyone else is like “oh we gotta stay inside the most secure places possible and never leave” and I’ll be storming through the wastelands in my bloodstained suit of armor, blasting the Doom (2016) OST and plowing my way through waves of the undead. one of them tries to bite me but his shitty rotting teeth don’t even leave a dent in my armor before I turn his head into paste. I’ll be unstoppable until I die of dehydration or something like an idiot
this goes along with my other pet peeve about zombie apocalypse stories, namely: why does no one ever think to ride a bike?
bikes are quiet- if the zombies react to loud noises, they won’t hear you on a bike the way they might hear you in a car. bikes don’t need gas, meaning you won’t be stranded if you run out. bikes are much, much easier to maintain than a car- there’s no computer that can short out, no fiddly engine bits that could kill you if you mess with them wrong. you can learn how to maintain a bike with a couple weeks’ worth of classes. almost every adult knows how to ride a bike, and without cars on the road, it’d be much safer to do.
