In a series of completely unrelated coincidences, the same family moves into a haunted house, attracts the attention of a local poltergeist, purchases an evil ventriloquist dummy, activates a witch’s curse, and adopts the newborn antichrist, all in the same week.
the parents are so distracted by the major life changes of moving to a new town & caring for a baby that they completely fail to notice.
- supernatural occurrences mostly get blamed on the fact they are living in an old house they bought as a fixer upper:
- of course it’s full of strange drafts and weird noises–the insulation is a mess and there’s a family of racoons in the attic
- no shit the lights are flickering, the previous owners tried to do the electrical wiring themselves and now the whole place is a fire hazard
- yes the ventriloquist dummy keeps appearing in strange places, Little Suzie is always leaving her toys lying around, at least this is less dangerous than the roller skates on the stairs.
- and ok sure it’s a bit weird that household objects are levitating, but this town is built on a huge fault line and the realtor warned us about microearthquakes
meanwhile, the supernatural entities are all at war with their unwanted spooky roommates. at some point they get so busy terrorizing each other they forget to haunt the humans
and the antichrist has an attentive, loving, and caring older sister to keep them happy and entertained
and (as previously discussed!) parents who are chill and treat the ensuing demonic events as normal childhood behavioral problems. they get the antichrist a child therapist
WHY does Tumblr always come up with the best concepts
Please tell me this family also adopts a cat at some point, please! Like the poor poltergeist is trying to haunt the family but everything that gets knocked over or thrown around is blamed on the cat
The cat has destructive tendancies and after awhile the poltergeist is too discouraged to even bother breaking anything, bc sooner or later the cat will get around to it anyway
Occasional messages daubed on the wall or mirror in what looks like blood are written off as the child/ren being mischievous with paints. Plus, now it’s a motivator to repaint that wall that was looking hideous anyway.
Also one or both of the parents have ADHD
- Things going missing. Have you checked in the fridge dear?
- Chairs in the middle of the room. Probably forgot I was going to sweep the floor.
- That banging in the wall. It triggered a long forgotten song and they are now humming in tune without thinking.
- Kid suddenly talking in tongues? Darn their audio processing is bad again today. Just nod and carry on.
- Time stands still, they black out for hours. What else is new? at least they’re still on time to pick up the kids from daycare.
- Sudden freezing temperatures. Yeesh they clearly were too distracted to notice the temps changes, probably should turn up the heater.
- Odd messages on the mirror. Huh one of us must have wanted a reminder.
So the Kid is weird? Meh what is normal anyway, we know a good therapist and some love and understanding can fix anything. They’ll grown into it. We did.
The creepy doll gets treated as another beloved member of the family (the Kid thinks it is alive and it’s important to encourage imagination) to the point where it’s so confused and unable to do anything bad, because everything gets met with Parenting™
and why does being hugged all the time feel so warm?
The poltergeist can’t do anything to draw enough attention. The parents are bigger disasters of chaos than they could ever possibly be. So you know what? Fine! If they can’t be a hindrance, they’ll be aggressively helpful and make sure no things are ever forgotten in this house again. Writing reminders everywhere.
The house initially tries to creak and break and cause upset, but all it gets is one of the parents suddenly hyper-fixating on undoing whatever mess they believe a previous owner caused. And then getting decorated in pretty colours and motifs, because everyone needs a bit of dopamine. Apparently even a haunted house.
A witch’s curse? Meh nothing worse than living in the current capitalist hell scape how would they know the difference. And if there at one point happens to turn up an old woman to give ominous warnings they just assume the lady is lonely and neglected and we might as well invite her in for tea. And cake. And want to meet the kids? Before she knows it, she’s been adopted as an honorary grandmother.
And that’s how this becomes the most quirky, protective and loving household in the entire town.
ADDAMS FAMILY ORIGINS
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