obvs there is something great about when a Big Scary turns into a Big Softie where Tiny Useless is concerned, but what i like better is:
Tiny Useless decides, with no prompting and for no apparent reason whatsoever, that Big Scary needs protecting. and if no one else will do it then this accidentally-gets-stepped-on, blows-away-in-a-stiff-breeze motherfucker is going to have to be the one to protect this living mountain of pain. you wanna get to this troll, you’re gonna have to go through this pixie. you try to come for this tibetan mastiff, this chihuahua’s gonna try to kick your ass first.
and the Big Scary is mostly just?? really confused???? there are at least twenty different reasons why this is fucking dumb. but also this feeble lil shit is the first person in the entire world to try and stand up for this person that absolutely does not need it. Big Scary continues to be huge and terrifying but now Tiny Useless has their undying loyalty and it will probably not end well for anyone.
i like seeing all of the ships this has been tagged with, but, i am going to be completely honest with you guys, when i wrote this i was thinking about little girls like my sister, who at the age of five had a strict ‘talk shit get hit’ policy about the incredible hulk