thebibliosphere:

miracufic:

pieandhotdogs:

ursula-vernon:

dirtyriver:

triplehamburgerjack:

kat8noghosts:

smurflewis:

Why aren’t Fruit Bat Vampires a thing???? Like they have 15 fridges or somehing and are obsessed with watermelons and pineapples. They are more day-light and people friendly. Like super chill. They love just chilling in flowerbeds. They like to farm and garden. “Why would you attack a human WHEN YOU COULD HAVE THIS NECTARINE??”

…that’s adorable I need one. 

Always drinking fruit juice, always inviting you to the damn smoothie bar, always at the damn farmer’s market

I may know a few of those.

“Drink of the Kombucha of Immortality, and gain life eternal!”

[vampire smirk] “May I come in?”

“FUCK YEAH YOU CAN BRO, GET IN HERE AND HAVE YOURSELF A V8”

“AYYYYYE!!!”

@thebibliosphere

The only instance in a vampire bar where a bloody Mary is actually just tomato juice.